Success from Failures Part 1

I have failed pretty much my entire life...but from those failures (the ones I thankfully lived through) I have suceeded in doing what I feel I was truly meant to do and be where I was meant to be....yea not making sense huh?

Oh how I used to dwell on those failures going over them and over them and over them in my mind..now a days I try to give myself a few minutes to do this and then let go moving forward to ways the problem can become the solution. Forgiveness of myself and acceptance has gone a LOOOONG way for me. And FEAR not giving in to FEAR or using it for GOOD!

I am what I am, I strive NOT to be perfect but to be me with all the flaws.

I look at what I have done in my life and am amazed that it is me, sometimes it is like looking in on another life. The other day I --no really I did this-- I looked at a outfit I made hanging on a wall and wondered for a split second who did that cause it looked so cool. I do often wonder if I am crazy because it is so easy to forget the good things you do.

Gosh oh golly I even realized that someone the other day was reacting the way they were because they were jealous of ME, good thing I was not drinking something cause that realization almost made me spit up, you wanna be me take it...just the crap though really walk a mile and all that bull but I don't wanna be you and live your life.....if they only KNEW the crap I have waded through Up to my neck sometimes just to get to who I am. I am constantly reevaluating, reinventing, throwing things out, adding, subtracting....I figure it is good and healthy.

But to give myself some positive props I have done so many amazing things with a strength that I did not know I possessed...when I say I am going to do something I pretty much just do and accept the failures on the path to wherever I am supposed to be.

I know my parents never understood when I did not want their help with school projects--even as a kid I knew that it was me who accepted the responsiblity of not doing something but durn it if I wanted help NO I wanted to make the mistake myself. One could say I was a tad ahem stubborn but I have this thing about failing on my own and accepting the consequences of those failures.

So here I sit just one more failure which I know I will learn from and turn into a success. I won't give details on it because I want to work through it before I get to the end and then maybe I will talk about it or not I mean it will be in the past and I will be able to turn it around I always have and the ones that I didn't were just supposed to be that way....those were in themselves failures of success.....hmm maybe we should call them something different because even a success can be a failure any suggestions on a new word? Now we will just use letters... F/S

OK so Part 1 What lead to the F/S? What did I do that I would not do again? What can I change? Is it worth it to correct the problem? Sometimes it is worth it to let it go by the wayside. Scared to fail again? YES ABSOLUTELY Will I? YES ABSOLUTELY

Wow I feel so much better now....give me a few days so I can come to a resolution and I will let you know how Part 2 worked out!

Here I will get one secret out...I never graduated from college...I had less than one class left to go, yep that is right barely 3 hours after YEARS of boredom with a few meaty bits thrown in. The reasons for leaving were many (no dwelling remember?) but would I go back NO WaY not right now, right now I am where I am supposed to be....what was I going to school for? Archaeology and Geology...am I happy and content you better believe it baby...

1 comment:

  1. Failure(s) is the very nature of artists. If we do not fail, then we are not artists. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and artists fail. But out of those failures we discover new ways of solutions, whether it's on the canvas, dance floor, in time (musical), or with the medium of fabric.

    My failures are a means by which I must travel to get to the successes. If I succeeded everytime I did something or took on a new project, 1st) it wouldn't be worth much (things that come to eaisly won't hold much admiration or respect), 2nd) the truth is it probably isn't much of a success...I succeed every time I draw a breathe in, but I really don't think much of it (of course until I can't do it anymore!!!!!)

    So enjoy and relish your failures - they are really learning curves to get to the success.

    BTW, the really big ones I throw out so I don't have to look at them any more, but at least I know don't do that again!


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