Success from Failures Part 1

I have failed pretty much my entire life...but from those failures (the ones I thankfully lived through) I have suceeded in doing what I feel I was truly meant to do and be where I was meant to be....yea not making sense huh?

Oh how I used to dwell on those failures going over them and over them and over them in my mind..now a days I try to give myself a few minutes to do this and then let go moving forward to ways the problem can become the solution. Forgiveness of myself and acceptance has gone a LOOOONG way for me. And FEAR not giving in to FEAR or using it for GOOD!

I am what I am, I strive NOT to be perfect but to be me with all the flaws.

I look at what I have done in my life and am amazed that it is me, sometimes it is like looking in on another life. The other day I --no really I did this-- I looked at a outfit I made hanging on a wall and wondered for a split second who did that cause it looked so cool. I do often wonder if I am crazy because it is so easy to forget the good things you do.

Gosh oh golly I even realized that someone the other day was reacting the way they were because they were jealous of ME, good thing I was not drinking something cause that realization almost made me spit up, you wanna be me take it...just the crap though really walk a mile and all that bull but I don't wanna be you and live your life.....if they only KNEW the crap I have waded through Up to my neck sometimes just to get to who I am. I am constantly reevaluating, reinventing, throwing things out, adding, subtracting....I figure it is good and healthy.

But to give myself some positive props I have done so many amazing things with a strength that I did not know I possessed...when I say I am going to do something I pretty much just do and accept the failures on the path to wherever I am supposed to be.

I know my parents never understood when I did not want their help with school projects--even as a kid I knew that it was me who accepted the responsiblity of not doing something but durn it if I wanted help NO I wanted to make the mistake myself. One could say I was a tad ahem stubborn but I have this thing about failing on my own and accepting the consequences of those failures.

So here I sit just one more failure which I know I will learn from and turn into a success. I won't give details on it because I want to work through it before I get to the end and then maybe I will talk about it or not I mean it will be in the past and I will be able to turn it around I always have and the ones that I didn't were just supposed to be that way....those were in themselves failures of success.....hmm maybe we should call them something different because even a success can be a failure any suggestions on a new word? Now we will just use letters... F/S

OK so Part 1 What lead to the F/S? What did I do that I would not do again? What can I change? Is it worth it to correct the problem? Sometimes it is worth it to let it go by the wayside. Scared to fail again? YES ABSOLUTELY Will I? YES ABSOLUTELY

Wow I feel so much better now....give me a few days so I can come to a resolution and I will let you know how Part 2 worked out!

Here I will get one secret out...I never graduated from college...I had less than one class left to go, yep that is right barely 3 hours after YEARS of boredom with a few meaty bits thrown in. The reasons for leaving were many (no dwelling remember?) but would I go back NO WaY not right now, right now I am where I am supposed to be....what was I going to school for? Archaeology and Geology...am I happy and content you better believe it baby...